Tag Archives: growing up

the return of karen?

Currently jammin’ to:

A long time ago (and by a long time, I mean a few years), I started this blog as a personal place for me to explore and express my own thoughts. Sometimes it was a reflection and representation of previous events that I had attended, sometimes it was conscious streams of opinions and observations I had created. Either way, I made it available to others to read, just in case for someone reason others found what I did or thought interesting, and mostly it served as a copy for me to remember and reflect on possibly later in life. You could say “online diary” but I would really just say an expression of myself and potential outlet of ideas. Probably only a year or less into creation, I ended up abandoning it in a sense. It wasn’t that I gave up on it, but it no longer became prioritized to me to write in. Part of it was simply from personal things occurring in my life, of which I did not want to share with the world (at least not on a public-stranger level anyways), and part of it was changes that occurred which resulted in me using laptops and computers less frequently (aka less likely to find random time to be posting a blog). I’ve never forgotten about my site, my blogging, and my initial inspiration for it, but perhaps my current inspiration is more dimmed and a slightly different flame now. I have thought about returning and updating again every so often, but never found the time or strong enough urge to proactively dedicate time daily or even weekly to collecting myself and putting myself out on the web again.

It has been over a year (two years?) since I last updated my blog (aka right now), and I still feel the slight uncertainty that I can commit to a frequent updating cycle, but my desire to do so, with similar reasons, is still very much alive. It is because of this, and mostly because I now have a bit more free time that I could actually utilize to updating on a regular basis, that I’ve decided to take up the mantle again. Sadly, I cannot guarantee how long my commitment will or won’t last, but try I still shall, even if I feel I have being doing very little in activities to write about.

So, now that I’m back, what do I say? Well I guess if I’m keeping my future self updated about my past self, the best place to start is what’s happening  in life for me now. Here’s a rambling summary:

I returned back to school. A real job just didn’t really do it for me; or more like, all the miscellaneous jobs I did were unfulfilling and lacked motivation outside of me making money. I like money, mostly because it lets me eat what I want and do things I like to do that costs money, but I don’t want to live to make money for a couple of vacations every few years. I, like possibly many in my generation, want a job that satisfies my own expressive self!… and makes money. Or what I really mean is that I want to do something that I actually enjoy and hope that it makes me enough to be satisfied with everything else. Considering the amount of time one normally spends in life working, I’d imagine if I’m happy working, I’ll probably be okay in life overall too. So I’m back in school studying to become a Speech-Language Pathologist. Where did this come? Mostly from trying to find more practical uses of my degree (or at least the studies involved in them) even though to actually do anything I need more studying (which I basically guessed would happen). Linguistics is an ever so interesting field. So are people. People’s perception and understanding are pretty nifty too. And then I want to help people understand better. So psychology wasn’t quite the exact route, but helping people talk or understand language better, well, that sounds a lot better. And thus, here I am, back at school. I decided to be financially smart (and also it’s a great school) and am attending the University of Texas at Austin now. The sad thing is that I’m still not quite at the level I need to be. I’m not completing a Master’s, I’m continuing studies in order to satisfy pre-requisite courses to apply for the Master’s program. Even worse, some colleges have different prerequisites. Tough. But I enjoy it, and I’m pleased to say I’ve had the best grades I’ve ever had in my college experience (guess I did finally learn how to study! or something). It’s a bit strange to be back on campus, especially with how much controversy there is on campus now a days I feel like (concealed carry coming to you Fall 2016!… what), and of course the age gap is a bit off putting, but I found a few friends who are in the same boat as me (the boat of “my original degree isn’t what I wanted or as useful as I hoped” or something) and we keep each other feeling good, I think. So current status: student, unemployed, and broke. Oh how times have changed… Not.

As for things outside of school (which isn’t much, sadly), I am happily in a committed relationship that seems more promising than any previous. I don’t know if that’s just the relationship talking, or the age influencing that emotion too (I mean, I would prefer not to be an old maid), but regardless I am happily involved in a semi-long distance relationship with a Mexican. Who would’ve guessed. Let’s just say I like throw my parents off all the time apparently. If you’re reading this dear, love you! :D <3 Officially five months in (it’s much shorter than it feels) and going strong.

I had some other stuff written last week for this, but I decided to cut it all out. If this is my return, I want it to be light, an updating summary, and then grow back in to whatever I hope it to be (I have no idea). If you’re still reading and following me, then awesome! I hope I’m entertaining to you or that you find comfort in anything I say. If not, well hope you have a good day. I like positivity, I can take criticism, but I will not accept negative comments that aren’t constructive to the conversation. There are times that I may express myself politically or just in my own opinion (well, that’s probably all the time since this is MY blog), and perhaps you do or do not agree. I won’t reject any comment just because it isn’t the same opinion as mine, but if I do think it is inappropriate or not constructive to the conversation, then I may reject the comment. Just an FYI.

I don’t have any sort of philosophical or take away message from any of this except to say I’m back. I’m back to try and regularly express myself to an unknown (and partially known) audience of people who feel like reading my thoughts. They aren’t expertly crafted, they sometimes run on and are grammatically incorrect (I’m sure), and they probably will be quite random or make no sense at all, but if it ever provides you comfort, or gives you inspiration, then I’m glad.

Hope you have a good day.

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